A Direction for Employee Satisfaction

If we’re going corporate…

We might be well served to look at those that have symbiotic relationships with their highly satisfied, engaged, and empowered employees.

Look at all the bad press MacDonald’s has gotten and remember that learning that the burgers only have 15% meat or that the nuggets are filled with ground chicken faces (I’ll let you figure out if that’s a typo) wasn’t what made it happen. Instead, a lot of it can be attributed to their poor treatment of their employees. Let’s not model ourselves after a dying (and irresponsible) fast food chain.

But, we’re in a time of budget crisis, how can we possible do this?!?

Having a good work environment isn’t all about ping pong tables in the break room and new iPads. It turns out, and here’s the shocker…money can’t buy you happiness.

The kind of money that helps is money that we have at UNCG. The biggest salaries go the people least likely to stick around, but that doesn’t mean that the lowest salaries are what keep people here. So, step one: everybody earning under $XXk (note the two digits there…don’t come with cap in hand if you earn six figures) gets a raise. I don’t care how you make it appear in accounting, it can be done, so let’s do it. Partly it might come from skimming off the top (for example, do we need a new Vice Chancellor for University Relations if the department has four people? Not sure, but it’s a question worth asking) and part might come from savings I’ll discuss in a moment. Point is, it can, and should be done, as a baseline, a minimum of what employment should be.

It’s much more than that though.

Liz Ryan, contributing author for Forbes explains it well:

“Rather than focusing on new programs to make employees happy, we should be taking away the obstacles that keep people at work disempowered and disconnected from their mission [and that of their place of employment]. Leadership in the knowledge economy has more to do with removing impediments to teamwork, collaboration and new ideas than with installing even more programs and policies than we already have.”

Basically, it will save us money AND increase our devotion (and therefore energy, creativity, contributions, etc.) to do away with the unnecessary structures that degrade the quality of the work environment AND cost us the most money.

I’ll only give one example, for now, but: In University Relations (back when that was what it was), staff such as David Wilson and Chris English were salaried employees. And yet, they had to fill out time sheets. These time sheets were entered into a system developed by department admin Sherri MacCheyne. The system never worked particularly smoothly and had to be fudged and fussed with just to accept information that it turned out was absolutely useless. It didn’t improve the relationship between Sheryl and her co-workers, didn’t ever actually measure the amount of time spent working, and we can see the countless headaches this ridiculous and unnecessary activity has caused.

Remove the bizarre requirement for time sheets and here is what we would have had:

No UNCG3 scandal, a whole host of dedicated employees still working here, none of the legal fees associated with the prosecution of this idiocy, more time for Sherri to devote to work, more time for Chris, David, et al to devote to work, countless hours of work that never would have showed up on the time sheets anyway happily performed by dedicated employees, whatever the hours were that Imogene Cathey, Benita Peace, and Jamie Herring dedicated to this, whatever productivity was lost as people attended forums and tried desperately to understand secondary employment…

I probably don’t need to go on. All of this from one unnecessary structure. How many more are there that could so easily disappear generally improving everybody’s lives AND the financial situation of the university?

I don’t know, but I’d sure like to find out.

Jan Zink Advances Backwards

I guess managing an extra five people turned out to be too much for dear Jan “Basket Queen” Zink. But her reign was not without accomplishments, of course. It’s just that I can’t think of any of them. I’m sure something will come to me.

[Note: accomplishments to be listed here just as soon as they become clear]

She managed, in her brief tenure, to drive away Lanita Goins further reducing the skeleton crew of university relations refugees. Rumor has it that even the birds stopped singing and several typefaces left the university in protest.

She’ll probably be sad to give up Betsi Robinson’s old office as I hear she had converted it into a humidor for her extensive collection of Cuban cigars. I could be wrong though.

Meanwhile, we’ve received James Thornton to egregiously chancellorate us through the next six months. He may be a lovely person, I have no idea, but I guess by comparison, how bad could he possibly be? And, after all, with his expertise in fundraising, he may just make Zink even more redundant than she already was.

And, at the very least, Thornton wins some sort of prize for the speed with which he updated his LinkedIn profile to reflect his new position. Elsewhere, LinkedIn is littered with the former connections of our least beloved who, despite continuing to be unemployed (and unemployable) have failed to remove their “Vice Chancellor of X” designations. Of course, I’m not sure “layabout” or “disgruntled claimant” really has the cache they were hoping for.

I hope Zink recognizes that this is the signal heralding closure of her time at UNCG. She’s not long in her old position either as the word ‘advancement’ couldn’t be used to describe anything she has conjured into being since arriving on our doorstep and since she has been here for slightly over two administrator years, that’s nearly a lifetime of employment in human years.

To put all of this into context, I turn to Joe “Golden Tongue” Gallehugh who, in an effort to capture the subtleties of the complex organism that is the university, said: “No comment.”

I propose a basket of ice as a parting gift and directions to Seth Cohen’s office should she find anything about her exit confusing.

Dear Linda

Dear Linda:

I just want to say how glad I am that you did that interview with The Carolinian where you were egregiously candid enough to admit how sorry you were that we are all so difficult to work with.

I mean, if only we had known that none of this was your fault, that the problem was US and not you, and that we were simply too hard-headed to understand what was best for us, why then maybe we could have been better people. 

I’m sorry we are so disappointing.

I mean, now that you’ve explained, again, how difficult we are, I really feel like a great era of healing and togetherness is just over the horizon. After all, you only make enormous amounts of money (plus nice bennies!) to do your job, so how could we ever have expected you to be the one who was responsible for anything? I feel so foolish.

You’re right about so many things. It is tough to have a frank and open conversation when one side refuses listen. It is so complicated when something like the Faculty Senate can’t just nod and agree with everything and insists (!) on asking questions, representing various constituencies, and having access to information. Who could have known that people at a university would be so concerned with knowledge, right?

I’m sorry we’re so weird and different in that a racial discrimination scandal seems to have ended your career at Oregon State while an entirely different type of scandal seems to have brought it about here. Surely, there is nothing for you to learn from any of those situations because, as you so candidly explained, it’s everyone else.

I, for one, am enraged on your behalf that people would be so callous as to suggest that shared governance means a “sharing” of the “governance.” I can see why you would find that frustrating.

I’m sorry that the press wasn’t able to paint more glowing reviews of the change you knew was best for us. Where were the headlines saying: “New Rec Center Provides Enhanced Pigeon Roosting Opportunities” or “She’s Got a Green Thumb for Growing Executive Administration”? Instead, it was all “destroying my neighborhood” this and “overwhelming faculty dissatisfaction” that.

I mean, I know if that kind of continued conspiracy were to egregiously happen to me, the only thing I could think of to do would be to have people investigated and arrested. That’s what I did once when my cat wouldn’t use the litter box and I haven’t had a problem since!

Anyway, I know you spent a long time really doing some soul searching before you were able to satisfactorily conclude that you were blameless and that’s never easy, so I salute you.

Hopefully, everyone will be able to remember your honesty clearly when you rejoin the faculty in 2016.

Tchus,

Sophie

Don’t Be Fooled

There are those who will say that this blog is weakening UNCG – that it could destroy it.

I am not so egotistical as to believe that the words I write have the power to destroy without foundation. If UNCG is so weak as to be able to crumble as a result of a blog, well, it’s hard for me to believe it was standing up to begin with.

What is weakening is the ability of the administration to do as it pleases with no fear of repercussions.

What is weakening is the shadow that has been cast by this administration and the possibility that it will continue to block out the sun for years to come.

I will be glad to see those things weakened and destroyed. Don’t listen to the execs when they tell you that these words have harmed UNCG. These words bring to light the harm that they have done to UNCG…and they would like you to believe that they are the heart and soul of the institution.

They are not.

If Jan Zink can’t bad mouth our donors and squander their money, UNCG will be stronger.

If Bryan Terry can’t verbally abuse his staff, screaming and yelling like a tyrant, UNCG will be stronger.

If Edna Chun and Bonita Peace can’t ignore the heartfelt pleas of faculty and staff for just treatment and basic dignity, UNCG will be stronger.

If a chancellor can’t accept the position assuming that we are their personal piggy bank with an unruly mob meant to be suppressed, UNCG will be stronger.

If anyone working here now or in the future knows that they must make a commitment to the larger university and Greensboro community when they accept a position, knows that they are taking a place in a vibrant and dynamic culture, understands the bounds of human decency, and accepts the mantle of responsibility to something larger than their own agenda, UNCG will be stronger.

Don’t ask me to stop working for those goals, because I won’t. And don’t be fooled when those with much to lose whimper as the risk increases. They weren’t thinking of others before and they aren’t doing so now.

I have heard from so many of you supporting the changes in the atmosphere that we are seeing begin to come about; let’s keep shaking things up and let the sun shine in stronger than ever.

Joe Gallehugh Doesn't Want To Communicate

Don’t even ask.

No, it doesn’t matter what. The point is you shouldn’t ask.

Joe Gallehugh has nothing to say on behalf of UNCG. This shouldn’t be too surprising since he doesn’t work here. He is, somehow, however in charge of communications. Didn’t we once have a bunch of people doing that? I feel like I remember a whole department worth of people who were dedicated to it…I don’t know, must have been a dream.

Joe has decided that to build on the atmosphere of trust and transparency he will pre-emptively tell journalists that whatever the question they had and to whomever it was directed there is simply nobody anywhere who has anything to say in response to it.

Margaret Moffet received just such an unsolicited refusal to comment after leaving messages with several UNCG administrators. Rather than discover pesky details such as what the questions were that she wanted to ask, Gallehugh demonstrated his leaderesque excellence quality by bestowing on the literary world the following bit of Shakespearean prose:

"No one from UNCG has a comment for your story scheduled for this weekend’s News & Record.”

Look at that quality!

It has quite a ring to it, doesn’t it? As if the bard himself were now in charge of screwing our courage to the sticking place.

Or, at least, something is being screwed.

A quick call to his “office” was answered by the following message:

“Due to privacy, I cannot disclose the number which you have dialed. However, in the unfortunate likelihood that you are calling to ask a question, please press three and your call will be immediately directed to the back of my hand because UNCG has nothing to say to you.”

Portrait of Joe Gallehugh

I wonder if there will be answers to questions posed for weekday editions of the News & Record? Maybe this is really just a statement on the oppressive presence of work even during days that should be given wholly to rest and renewal. Maybe he meant that the answers were so complex he wished to schedule an in depth conversation in order to fully explain the nuances and ensure complete understanding. Maybe he meant that there are people who don’t work for UNCG who could better answer any questions. Maybe he meant that next weekend would work better.

Somehow, I doubt it.

Instead, I think what he meant was: 

“Out, damned spot! Out, I say! … What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account?”