Jan's $100,000 Gift Basket Budget

Here’s a question I’d like to get an answer to (as opposed to all the others that I ask but that don’t get answered):

Is there anything that the university needs in order to continue to support its mission that costs less than $100,000?

The reason why I ask that is because $100,000 is the budget that Jan Zink has for purchasing gift baskets. And, well, it seems to me like there might have been some things that were in the lineup of priorities that we would be funding before we got down to gift baskets (or $150,000 for ice sculptures for that matter).

Now, maybe that wasn’t the entire amount that she asked for in the gift basket fund, so she’s feeling that she has tightened down too.

Here’s where things start to get fuzzy for me. We know that Jan doesn’t think that UNCG people give. Does she have the idea that UNCG people would if they thought they were going to receive a woven basket with an assortment of small cheeses? I think she may have our donors mistaken for rodents. Does she think our donors can’t find their own body wash or ground coffee? That the only reason they would give is because it will lighten their weekly shopping load a tad?

Here’s a gift basket that looks very nice for $39.95 – Jan could buy 2,503 of them with that budget. Are we sending out 2,503 gift baskets a year?

But maybe that’s not as fancy as the ones she orders. After all, she is the one who thinks that the appropriate décor for a donor function is an ice sculpture of a grand piano…because nothing says “we’re spending your donation wisely” like something that costs a lot and yet melts.

So, are we sending out “Tower of Treats” baskets from Harry & David at $149 a pop? That budget lets Jan “gift basket” Zink send 671 thank you baskets complete with smoked salmon, nuts, pears, and hopefully some explanation of why we thought they would want us to spend such a large part of their donation on a gift for them.

Meanwhile, we have students and staff who are well below the poverty line – with at risk housing and food shortages. We have buildings that have holes in the floors and soon much of the teaching technology in the classrooms will be removed and sold off. We have faculty using 7-year-old laptops and desks that stand up when a book is propped under one leg. We have field trips the students can’t afford to attend and doctor’s co-pays that break the bank.  We have staff who have been laid off, course sections that have been cancelled, library resources that have expired…and I could go on, but you get the picture.

I think that our donors give to UNCG because they love UNCG, not because they need a really complicated way to get a basket of candied fruit and cashews. Our donors want the personal touch, not the champagne treatment. If people aren’t giving, it’s because we’ve alienated them, not because they have been lured away by other universities’ giveaways. Our donors can tell when you care about them and when you are just trying to get their money. And you, Jan, are as transparent as plate glass.

UNCG people have a long tradition of giving more than they are asked and of giving because they care – and are cared for. You can’t buy your way into their hearts.

Your oil money doesn’t translate well here; maybe it’s time for you to just get on home to Tulsa.